What Are You Believing?


What are you believing?

Friend, why are you so afraid to open up? What do you value more than accepting yourself?  Why do you keep believing conformity will bring you love and approval? Why do you let your fears control you? Where are your motives rising from?

Maybe you don’t even realize how much of what you do is for others. Maybe you haven’t even acknowledged the heavy load of expectations that you’re carrying. Friend, you must be tired. You must be exhausted. For the next few minutes, it’s okay to put that load down, just breathe and read.

You fear rejection, you fear failure, you fear loneliness. You think it’s easier to focus and show the world what society values most, brains, beauty, brawn. In the end, it’s a quest for perfectionism. Society has taught us to constantly question ourselves….

“Are you good enough?”

“What makes you worthy?”

“What makes you better?”

Are you already comparing……….stop!

You so easily hide the real you, the raw, humanness of you. Why? What will happen if they see the real you? I can bet that what you’re thinking is much worse than reality. You think you’re protecting yourself, but you don’t see how much damage you do with every negative self-talk, every minute of self-rejection, every comparison and doubt, every time you shove your emotions down, every moment you hide. Do you think the more we punish ourselves, the more we will change? ….You’re building walls, and walls are so much easier to build then to break down.

Is your mind on automatic, thinking you always, always have to strive for more and more? Friend, the quest for perfectionism never ends, because it can never be achieved. This is why you’re so tired. This is why you’re still struggling.  When does it stop? Where is your finish line? “When I loose 10 pounds. When I get married. When I get her approval. When I become famous. When I have enough likes. When I feel enough?

Don’t get me wrong. It’s important to have goals, but are your goals destroying your happiness today? Are they making you reject who you are now? Are you goals realistic? Do you believe perfectionism will give your life meaning and purpose? That until you reach “perfect” you are worthy of approval, love and all things good? That friendships and relationships will grow?

Friend, get your watch. I need 5 minutes, just 5. Do this with me…

I want you to stop thinking of all the things you’re not and think about all the things that you are. Write them down….

Oh, how I wish you could believe how beautiful you are. You are good enough and much more. You are not worth your weight, your possessions, your titles, your connections. What you do or don’t do doesn’t determine your value. You are not perfect, and that has nothing to do with your worth. It just means your human. Whatever you wrote down, that’s what you need to remind yourself on a daily basis.

Can you decide and allow yourself to receive self-acceptance? Can you start to believe that being vulnerable will allow you to heal? Stop believing no one will love you. Stop believing everyone has to love you. Stop believing a ‘perfect life’ will make others like you. We all just desperately want to hear an “I struggle too, I accept you, I understand you, I love you for who you are”.

When will you stop running away from the source of perfect love and security? He is on a quest to woo you, to love you, protect you, provide for you, and he won’t stop. He will never stop. READ THAT AGAIN. How many times do we desire a love that never fails, for someone who will satisfy your deepest desires and needs. So why do we run away from that love? Why do we let our security and self-esteem be dependent on people, possessions, and achievements?

Sweet friend, nothing and no one can provide the security and love you so eagerly seek. You are already approved, you are already valuable. No one can take that away from you, and it’s all because of God. He doesn’t love you because of who you are or what you do. He loves you unconditionally because that is who HE is.

I dare you to break the beliefs of conformity. I dare you to accept and be compassionate towards yourself. I dare you to speak only kind words to every inch in your body. Friend, I dare you to do things despite your biggest fears. Question your beliefs. Practice it, make a daily habit, constantly evaluate what you’re thinking and believing. Commit each day you will feed your mind and soul with truth and love. Allow yourself to love you, and when you do, you’ll pave the way for others to love the real you, too

Dear friend, you are a thousand times enough and more.

You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love,
beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless

                                                      –Song of Solomon 4:7

With courage and love,

Claudia Calderón